Friday, February 28, 2014
Just not feeling good... (Friday Life #14) 28 February 2014
Migrainneeee. Ugh. Too much driving, not enough quality food, and fuck the world. I dunno what to say. Portland traffic is hell and it stretched on forever today. Peace.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Eugene (A Look at the Weekend #13) 27 February 2014
Headed to Eugene today and Friday. I'd like to try and see 12 Years a Slave still too, so I can say I've seen at least one 2014 Oscar contender. Hopefully I'll make my first band practice on Sunday too (out of three).
Ugh, I got to Eugene just to find out that my keys weren't with me. I had the chinrose key but it was from the wrong set of locks. I think I'm going to take a week and just organize my shit. I'm going to propose this to my dad tomorrow and see what he thinks.
Ugh, I got to Eugene just to find out that my keys weren't with me. I had the chinrose key but it was from the wrong set of locks. I think I'm going to take a week and just organize my shit. I'm going to propose this to my dad tomorrow and see what he thinks.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
2 Months In... (Music #15) 26 February 2014
Today I'm going to write about an album that changed my life:
Virgos Merlot's "Signs of a Vacant Soul."
Interesting band. Three guitarists, alt-rock vocals a la Alice In Chains or Stone Temple Pilots. The music wasn't mind-blowing. It was like slightly proggy and more artsy alt-rock, but my best friend at the time, Jason Baldwin, and his wife Janna and I all listened to the hell out of it, no pun intended (they were fronted by Creed's bassist, Brett Hestla).
Signs of a Vacant Soul - Virgos Merlot - Age, 19-20; Little known album by a little known band attempting to become mainstream and yet had a bit too much avant in them to make it (Three guitars, slightly offputting melodies). I will never forget rocking out to this group of songs on numerous occasions with Jason and how patient and nice Janna was to put up with it.
That's a note I wrote on facebook a couple of years back.
Still not impressed with the offerings of 2014 thus far. Woods of Desolation's new album is decent, from what I've listened to. Here's a link to "This Autumn Light," a track from it. Next I'll check out the split between Drudkh/Winterfylleth split from this year, where they're covering tracks by Hefestos, Unclean, Sacriligeum, and Hate Forest. Finally, for my music listening project of the day, I'll turn to the new EP by Blut Aus Nord, "Debemur MoRTi."
Then there's this.
Kinda cool. Which artists have the most listens MORE than any other state. It's not just who likes what more, but it's who likes what more than any other state. Confusing a bit, but here's a better breakdown.
Virgos Merlot's "Signs of a Vacant Soul."
Interesting band. Three guitarists, alt-rock vocals a la Alice In Chains or Stone Temple Pilots. The music wasn't mind-blowing. It was like slightly proggy and more artsy alt-rock, but my best friend at the time, Jason Baldwin, and his wife Janna and I all listened to the hell out of it, no pun intended (they were fronted by Creed's bassist, Brett Hestla).
Signs of a Vacant Soul - Virgos Merlot - Age, 19-20; Little known album by a little known band attempting to become mainstream and yet had a bit too much avant in them to make it (Three guitars, slightly offputting melodies). I will never forget rocking out to this group of songs on numerous occasions with Jason and how patient and nice Janna was to put up with it.
That's a note I wrote on facebook a couple of years back.
Still not impressed with the offerings of 2014 thus far. Woods of Desolation's new album is decent, from what I've listened to. Here's a link to "This Autumn Light," a track from it. Next I'll check out the split between Drudkh/Winterfylleth split from this year, where they're covering tracks by Hefestos, Unclean, Sacriligeum, and Hate Forest. Finally, for my music listening project of the day, I'll turn to the new EP by Blut Aus Nord, "Debemur MoRTi."
Then there's this.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
(Film #14) 25 February 2014
Back at it again, attempting to log all of the shows I've been watching as well.
This weekend brings the Oscars, so it'll be a scramble to see them all. I'm hoping by the time I post this, I've seen 12 Years a Slave at the Kelso Theatre Pub. :)
The Last Films I've Seen
1. World on a Wire, Part 2, 1973, Fassbinder, (total film grade) 8.0/10.0.
The Matrix, with subtlety, no special effects, and a 70s sheen, this is a much under-seen semi-masterpiece by Fassbinder. Mirrors, mystery, and some excellent acting. All hail New German Cinema!
2. "A Hat", Gunsmoke, Season 13, Episode 6, 1967, Totten, 8.8/10.
This show continues to grow on me, and this episode is one of the best I've seen, despite the falseness of the "Ishmay Omay" Blackfoot saying.
3. "Hard Luck Henry", Gunsmoke, Season 13, Episode 7, 1967, Rich, 6.5/10.
The Haggens provide a need comedy relief to this show and this episode is just that, relief. Fun.
4. Donovan's Reef, 1963, Ford, 6.3/10.
Been on a Ford kick, and this was a capable comedy. Would definitely watch it again, though it wasn't all that incredible. The social commentary is a bit weak, and of course John Wayne's character is too manly to make any direct comments on any of it.
5. Odd Thomas, 2013, Sommers, 6.3/10.
Lacking some of the nuances that made the book a bit more appealing to me, it nevertheless allowed me to flesh out more of my feelings about the character and the story arc of the first novel (of a series, of which I've only read the first). Koontz seems to have purposely jumped the shark here and fully embraced the aphorism that there is nothing new under the sun. From a protagonist who can see the dead to even more simple tropes of good vs. evil, an afterlife where we'll see our loved ones, and several others not worth noting, Koontz decides to take a staid set of formulas and attempt to breathe new life into them. Well, as a first-time Koontz reader, I'll report that he has made a few small victories here. The movie, likewise, is quite enjoyable and emotionally vivid. That being said, even a monumental victory in a small battle is barely noteworthy, and that's what we have here.
6. Captain Phillips, 2013, Greengrass, 6.4/10.
It's supposed to be a true story, naturally inflected with a Hollywood sheen, right? I dunno. I was bored out of my mind. Somalians are poor and need better ways to better themselves than pirating. That was the only redemptive message of the movie, in my eyes, and it was an obvious one. Great acting and cinematography make it a good movie, worth seeing, but that's about it.
7. She Wore a Yellow Ribbon, 1949, Ford, 7.0/10.
Yep, another Western. Another Ford. Clearly deserving his auteur status, I'm now onto "Fort Apache." This one was about a wagon train to get the commander's wife out of the fort for the winter and its failed attempt. Great acting, interesting piece of post-Custer history, jingoistic as it may have been, even subtly, this film is a must see for the film student.
This weekend brings the Oscars, so it'll be a scramble to see them all. I'm hoping by the time I post this, I've seen 12 Years a Slave at the Kelso Theatre Pub. :)
The Last Films I've Seen
1. World on a Wire, Part 2, 1973, Fassbinder, (total film grade) 8.0/10.0.
The Matrix, with subtlety, no special effects, and a 70s sheen, this is a much under-seen semi-masterpiece by Fassbinder. Mirrors, mystery, and some excellent acting. All hail New German Cinema!
2. "A Hat", Gunsmoke, Season 13, Episode 6, 1967, Totten, 8.8/10.
This show continues to grow on me, and this episode is one of the best I've seen, despite the falseness of the "Ishmay Omay" Blackfoot saying.
3. "Hard Luck Henry", Gunsmoke, Season 13, Episode 7, 1967, Rich, 6.5/10.
The Haggens provide a need comedy relief to this show and this episode is just that, relief. Fun.
4. Donovan's Reef, 1963, Ford, 6.3/10.
Been on a Ford kick, and this was a capable comedy. Would definitely watch it again, though it wasn't all that incredible. The social commentary is a bit weak, and of course John Wayne's character is too manly to make any direct comments on any of it.
5. Odd Thomas, 2013, Sommers, 6.3/10.
Lacking some of the nuances that made the book a bit more appealing to me, it nevertheless allowed me to flesh out more of my feelings about the character and the story arc of the first novel (of a series, of which I've only read the first). Koontz seems to have purposely jumped the shark here and fully embraced the aphorism that there is nothing new under the sun. From a protagonist who can see the dead to even more simple tropes of good vs. evil, an afterlife where we'll see our loved ones, and several others not worth noting, Koontz decides to take a staid set of formulas and attempt to breathe new life into them. Well, as a first-time Koontz reader, I'll report that he has made a few small victories here. The movie, likewise, is quite enjoyable and emotionally vivid. That being said, even a monumental victory in a small battle is barely noteworthy, and that's what we have here.
6. Captain Phillips, 2013, Greengrass, 6.4/10.
It's supposed to be a true story, naturally inflected with a Hollywood sheen, right? I dunno. I was bored out of my mind. Somalians are poor and need better ways to better themselves than pirating. That was the only redemptive message of the movie, in my eyes, and it was an obvious one. Great acting and cinematography make it a good movie, worth seeing, but that's about it.
7. She Wore a Yellow Ribbon, 1949, Ford, 7.0/10.
Yep, another Western. Another Ford. Clearly deserving his auteur status, I'm now onto "Fort Apache." This one was about a wagon train to get the commander's wife out of the fort for the winter and its failed attempt. Great acting, interesting piece of post-Custer history, jingoistic as it may have been, even subtly, this film is a must see for the film student.
Monday, February 24, 2014
So Much To Do! (ALATWA #15) 24 February 2014
I started a blog about beer, wine, and alcoholic spirits today. No, I won't be writing about old men in the detox unit breaking in and stealing Nyquil from the medicine cabinet. Sorry mom. I stand corrected. Apparently they drank the Guaiac developing solution. Yikes.
Food. Drink. Writing. Reading. Fiction. Film. Evolution. Why? All of it! Bring it on. 12 Years A Slave is at the Kelso Theater Pub, and I'm headed to Eugene at the end of the week to get my storage unit all squared away. :)
Food. Drink. Writing. Reading. Fiction. Film. Evolution. Why? All of it! Bring it on. 12 Years A Slave is at the Kelso Theater Pub, and I'm headed to Eugene at the end of the week to get my storage unit all squared away. :)
Sunday, February 23, 2014
More to do! (Weekend Review #13) 23 February 2014
Still working at grandma's. Tons to unload. I've saved many amazing things though, and I'm stoked about all the photos I found. I also want to start a family archive and we have a big box of photos we're saving for that. I want to digitize all of it and make it accessible to family members generations down the road.
I found a diary of hers that I intend to read and post from here. I'm excited for all of that. That being said, there is so much work to be done! It's crazy. I'm also skeptical of getting anyone to help with the saving of our family lore, as my aunt, the "pro" genealogist of the family, says we're direct descendants of Jack Daniels (impossible as he had no heirs, however she's shifted this to saying we must be cousins or something) and in the brief time she came to Longview to be at Nini's funeral, she said that Cheech Marin was Lebanese and not Hispanic at all. Haha. She's said a lot of silly things in the past though, so I don't really feel surprised.
Anyway, there's a ton more work to do before I need to crash tonight, so that's the plan!
I found a diary of hers that I intend to read and post from here. I'm excited for all of that. That being said, there is so much work to be done! It's crazy. I'm also skeptical of getting anyone to help with the saving of our family lore, as my aunt, the "pro" genealogist of the family, says we're direct descendants of Jack Daniels (impossible as he had no heirs, however she's shifted this to saying we must be cousins or something) and in the brief time she came to Longview to be at Nini's funeral, she said that Cheech Marin was Lebanese and not Hispanic at all. Haha. She's said a lot of silly things in the past though, so I don't really feel surprised.
Anyway, there's a ton more work to do before I need to crash tonight, so that's the plan!
Saturday, February 22, 2014
(Saturday Life #15) 22 February 2014
Heading to my grandma's to help get her apartment at the assisted living facility (Somerset) cleaned out.
It went pretty well. Trying to create a family archive where you can see photos.
It went pretty well. Trying to create a family archive where you can see photos.
Friday, February 21, 2014
Mom's Birthday! (Friday Life #13) 21 February 2014
I totally forgot my mom's birthday! She's 67 today.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Mom's Birthday and Moving out Nini's Apartment (A Look at The Weekend, #12) 20 February 2014
Busy weekend ahead, with the above title the main attractions. Heading back to Eugene this week or weekend as well.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Have A Nice Life (Music #14) 19 February 2014
The first album I'll write about this year is Have a Nice Life's new one, The Unnatural World.
Here's the thing in its entirety, including a video made for it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgQ7Nd2LSQw.
It's atmospheric, and sad. Interesting. Some albums I'd like to check out, but it's really been slow, so far.
Here's the thing in its entirety, including a video made for it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgQ7Nd2LSQw.
It's atmospheric, and sad. Interesting. Some albums I'd like to check out, but it's really been slow, so far.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Back to the Arthouse (Film #13) 18 February 2014
I won't be rating the entire film until next week, but I'm about 70% through the 3.5 hour World on a Wire and it's very good. I also watched John Ford's "How Green Was My Valley" recently.
The Last Films I've Seen
1. Game Of Thrones, Pilot, "Winter Is Coming," 2011, Van Patten, 10.0.
I've watched this pilot several times and it never gets old. Great acting, story, character development, and twists. Great start to what has quickly become my favorite show of all time.
2. Game Of Thrones, Season 1, Episode 2, "The Kingsroad," 2011, Van Patten, 9.5/10.
The characters get more and more fleshed out here, and the only step back is that you can't top the first episode for revelations.
3. How Green Was My Valley, 1941, Ford, 7.4/10.
Too much religion holds this story back from an otherwise 10/10 masterpiece. I loved the union struggle, the acting was spot on, and each character was well written. You could tell this was a labor of love. The cinematography by the prolific Arthur C. Miller was excellent and the music by Alfred Newman was also quite good.
4. World on a Wire, Part 1, 1973, Fassbinder, N/R.
What a strange, trippy movie! I really enjoy this (I'm about a half hour into the second part), and I'm curious how it will tie together. The second part has started even better, with more action and intrigue, and I have to say that this could be one of the better sci-movies, up there with Solaris. I'll be writing more about it as a whole next week, after I've finished the entire movie.
The Last Films I've Seen
1. Game Of Thrones, Pilot, "Winter Is Coming," 2011, Van Patten, 10.0.
I've watched this pilot several times and it never gets old. Great acting, story, character development, and twists. Great start to what has quickly become my favorite show of all time.
2. Game Of Thrones, Season 1, Episode 2, "The Kingsroad," 2011, Van Patten, 9.5/10.
The characters get more and more fleshed out here, and the only step back is that you can't top the first episode for revelations.
3. How Green Was My Valley, 1941, Ford, 7.4/10.
Too much religion holds this story back from an otherwise 10/10 masterpiece. I loved the union struggle, the acting was spot on, and each character was well written. You could tell this was a labor of love. The cinematography by the prolific Arthur C. Miller was excellent and the music by Alfred Newman was also quite good.
4. World on a Wire, Part 1, 1973, Fassbinder, N/R.
What a strange, trippy movie! I really enjoy this (I'm about a half hour into the second part), and I'm curious how it will tie together. The second part has started even better, with more action and intrigue, and I have to say that this could be one of the better sci-movies, up there with Solaris. I'll be writing more about it as a whole next week, after I've finished the entire movie.
Monday, February 17, 2014
Game Of Thrones (ALATWA #14) 17 February 2014
Finally getting my brother and his wife to watch the greatest show ever made. Tomorrow and the next day I hope to write about film and music for the first time in a couple of weeks.
I'm going to keep working for my dad throughout the week. I got to see Kawaii! It was awesome.
Waking up at 6am each day this week. More later!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
I'm going to keep working for my dad throughout the week. I got to see Kawaii! It was awesome.
Waking up at 6am each day this week. More later!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Location:Cascade Way,Longview,United States
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Failures (Weekend Review #12) 16 February 2014
This was a band practice weekend and I was too nervous and tense to do it. It's a funk/blues band with my brother, me playing rhythm, and I just couldn't do it. I couldn't make it to practice. I just don't feel quite ready. I'm close. I restrung my guitar and plugged it in for the first time. That was nice. But I just don't know what else to do. I got my car from Eugene last night. I start work for my dad tomorrow. :)
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Reconciliation of self, Part 2 (Saturday Life #14) 15 February 2014
More from yesterday. We must reconcile the past with the present, in order to live the present more ably. I'm not good at it, I still let the past haunt me. On dating websites, girls bring up past relationships and consider judging me in relation to that. I can't take it.
I'm here, right now, in the present. I always have been. I can't stand being around those who are always harping on the past, the past, the past. It's ridiculous. I am so frustrated with myself when I fall into this trap. We all do it. Hopefully I can actually write about music and film this week!!
I'm here, right now, in the present. I always have been. I can't stand being around those who are always harping on the past, the past, the past. It's ridiculous. I am so frustrated with myself when I fall into this trap. We all do it. Hopefully I can actually write about music and film this week!!
Friday, February 14, 2014
Reconciliation of self (Friday Life #12) 14 February 2014
Let's talk of love, on this day of Valentine. In sixth grade, I fragmented myself. I was madly in love with a girl, somehow emotionally and philosophically as advanced as I've ever been, perfectly capable of lifetime commitment, or so I though and sometimes still feel.
Mary Nguyen. Apple of my eye. I remember our courtship. I'd look at her across the room all the time, and our eyes would meet and I'd automatically smile and she eventually began smiling back. It's funny, my behavior in grown up society would be considered stalking or at least really weird. Eventually I worked up enough courage to ask her out (probably via friends and such) and we dated for about three months. We kissed a few times, but we spent a lot of time talking, we went to dances, movies, etc. It was pretty amazing to my 11 year old self.
"Hold your light, 11, lead me through each gentle step, until 1 and 1 are 1, 11, so glow, child, glow, I'm heading back home."
Discovery of this song ("jimmy" by Tool) allowed me to realize just how badly I was depressed. According to Jung, if memory serves correctly, a super negative thing that happened in our past will fragment us and keep an innocent and clear-eyed part of our self trapped back at that fork in the road. It is up to us to go back and rescue that part of our self and bring it forward to where we are. If we allowed the past to harden us, without reclaiming any of it back for our Selves, we would lead a miserable existence. Let's not do that.
Mary Nguyen. Apple of my eye. I remember our courtship. I'd look at her across the room all the time, and our eyes would meet and I'd automatically smile and she eventually began smiling back. It's funny, my behavior in grown up society would be considered stalking or at least really weird. Eventually I worked up enough courage to ask her out (probably via friends and such) and we dated for about three months. We kissed a few times, but we spent a lot of time talking, we went to dances, movies, etc. It was pretty amazing to my 11 year old self.
"Hold your light, 11, lead me through each gentle step, until 1 and 1 are 1, 11, so glow, child, glow, I'm heading back home."
Discovery of this song ("jimmy" by Tool) allowed me to realize just how badly I was depressed. According to Jung, if memory serves correctly, a super negative thing that happened in our past will fragment us and keep an innocent and clear-eyed part of our self trapped back at that fork in the road. It is up to us to go back and rescue that part of our self and bring it forward to where we are. If we allowed the past to harden us, without reclaiming any of it back for our Selves, we would lead a miserable existence. Let's not do that.
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Thursday (A Look At The Weekend #12) 13 February 2014
Getting car Friday, working for dad Saturday and seeing Kawaii! And then band practice, so to speak, on Sunday. Busy. All-star weekend in basketball, Olympics. Lots going on. :)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Pick Up The Pieces (Music #14) 12 February 2014
First rehearsal for brother's Blues/Funk project on Sunday, playing with some heavy hitters, should be fun. New Bohren and Der Club of Gore, Have a Nice Life, Helms Alee.. Lots of music to check out.
I'll be listening to tons of Funk and Blues.
I'll be listening to tons of Funk and Blues.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Lust For Life (Film #12) 11 February 2014
I finally watched Lust for Life! Happened to be starting just as I flipped to the channel and so I sat and watched. A couple of things struck me immediately. The film isn't in French; Irving Stone may not be the most authoritative biographical source; finally, Kirk Douglas may not be the ideal choice for Vincent Van Gogh. These reservations aside, the movie was good. Well-shot, well-acted, and certainly making me more interested in the subject matter - the birth of impressionism, Gauguin, and Van Gogh himself - I though the film performed aptly. I give it a 7/10.
Aside from that, my only real film thoughts this week have been of Ozu still, and I've reread a bit of his liner notes from the criterion things I have of him. Neither the Lower Columbia College or the Longview Public Library have the book by Richie or Kiju/Miyao/Hirano. To the top of my Amazon wishlist they go!
The Last Films I've Seen
1. Lust For Life, 1956, Minnelli, 6.7/10.
Aside from that, my only real film thoughts this week have been of Ozu still, and I've reread a bit of his liner notes from the criterion things I have of him. Neither the Lower Columbia College or the Longview Public Library have the book by Richie or Kiju/Miyao/Hirano. To the top of my Amazon wishlist they go!
The Last Films I've Seen
1. Lust For Life, 1956, Minnelli, 6.7/10.
Monday, February 10, 2014
Let's Get It Started (ALATWA #13) 10 February 2014
Tomorrow, back to Eugene and then back home. Wednesday, probably view my Nini in state for the last time, funeral Thursday. Work for dad and begin searching for jobs en masse Friday.
Busy week, but not without its benefits.
I'm trying to write in this every single day, but most days, I come up empty and kind of boring. That being said, at least I'm writing.
I'm organizing my room downstairs, and I need to move stuff from the upstairs bedrom down to the downstairs bedroom.
Busy week, but not without its benefits.
I'm trying to write in this every single day, but most days, I come up empty and kind of boring. That being said, at least I'm writing.
I'm organizing my room downstairs, and I need to move stuff from the upstairs bedrom down to the downstairs bedroom.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Have a Nice Life (Weekend Review #11) 9 February 2014
I'm sick and snowed in. I'm not sure what's really happened. I've watch basketball. I've played Magic on Forge. I've done a ton of laundry.
I'm doing more. The cat and dog are facing off in the hallway. Pretty hilarious :D
Reading an intense article by a sexual abuse survivor about Woody Allen. Will make for interesting addendums to criticism of his film.
I'm doing more. The cat and dog are facing off in the hallway. Pretty hilarious :D
Reading an intense article by a sexual abuse survivor about Woody Allen. Will make for interesting addendums to criticism of his film.
Saturday, February 8, 2014
A Day Late and A Dollar Short (Saturday Life #13) 8 February 2014
I'm sick still, and the snow is high enough to keep all of us here waylaid. More later :)
Friday, February 7, 2014
Dealing With Death (Friday Life #11) 7 February 2014
My grandma passed away early Thursday morning (around 430am), after she was found on the floor, broken hip and in much pain.
Trey and I had gone to visit her early that day, around 4pm and were planning on a video interview (the only video with her in it that I know of) around 11am on Thursday. Alas, it wasn't meant to be. I was awoken from sleep Wednesday morning by my mom using her phone alarm, and the first thing that I thought was that nini was dead. I've been thinking about it all day.
My grandma ("Nini") was 90 years old.
Trey and I had gone to visit her early that day, around 4pm and were planning on a video interview (the only video with her in it that I know of) around 11am on Thursday. Alas, it wasn't meant to be. I was awoken from sleep Wednesday morning by my mom using her phone alarm, and the first thing that I thought was that nini was dead. I've been thinking about it all day.
My grandma ("Nini") was 90 years old.
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
It's 2014 (Music #13) 5 February 2014
Not much has happened in 2014 so far, musically speaking. I'm excited to listen to more of the band Have A Nice Life and the new Sun Kil Moon album. I can't think of any others right off of the top of my head.
The Bill Nye/Ken Ham debate was last night. There's a lot going on! It's crazy. I don't even know what to say musically. I listened to Bon Iver's self-titled album on vinyl last night, as I was trying to stay focused and get things organized in my new room, but I must say, aside from the first two tracks, I got distracted and I was so dead tired and sore that I couldn't do much
MOre later. Keep listenin.'
The Bill Nye/Ken Ham debate was last night. There's a lot going on! It's crazy. I don't even know what to say musically. I listened to Bon Iver's self-titled album on vinyl last night, as I was trying to stay focused and get things organized in my new room, but I must say, aside from the first two tracks, I got distracted and I was so dead tired and sore that I couldn't do much
MOre later. Keep listenin.'
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
The Frustration of Family (Film #11) 4 February 2014
I spent four and a half years spilling blood, sweat, and tears into a job and was on unemployment for a year and a half, spiraling out of control psychologically, spiritually, and apparently physically, and apparently I'm a leech. I'll admit, if people didn't know me better, they'd probably feel that way. Life has been really rough on me the last 7 years, and I have a horrible time handling problems. None of these things will I dispute, but the choices my parents have made and continue to make are appalling and it should serve as no surprise to see the choices I've made.
The only thing I can do is stop making those choices. It means vigilance, diligence, and being able to write and express myself. It's tough though, because there are no decent connections anywhere around me. What is love? I mean.. I feel ripped apart because of the "love" I get from my family. I've always thought it was mainly my mom that taught me to manipulate and such, but codependence is a two-edged sword.
"You are staying in your mom's house which you don't have to pay rent and no other expenses such as food and utility. You might stay there forever. When you were receiving unemployment why didn't you get a job? Because you are too lazy and want to use the system until it expires. This tells me that you want us to keep the cat in the green house almost forever. It is like giving her away anyway and we don't like cats. "
I know my stepmom used to read my blog. I sure hope she doesn't now, but if she does, here is how I feel:
FUCK YOU.
Wait, let me say that again. FUCK YOU. I will never sleep in or stay in your house again. I won't eat a bite of food from there, and I just won't want you in my life.
Ok, I feel better. I'm going to crank on Godard's Le Mepris and call it good. I'll write about movies next week.
The only thing I can do is stop making those choices. It means vigilance, diligence, and being able to write and express myself. It's tough though, because there are no decent connections anywhere around me. What is love? I mean.. I feel ripped apart because of the "love" I get from my family. I've always thought it was mainly my mom that taught me to manipulate and such, but codependence is a two-edged sword.
"You are staying in your mom's house which you don't have to pay rent and no other expenses such as food and utility. You might stay there forever. When you were receiving unemployment why didn't you get a job? Because you are too lazy and want to use the system until it expires. This tells me that you want us to keep the cat in the green house almost forever. It is like giving her away anyway and we don't like cats. "
I know my stepmom used to read my blog. I sure hope she doesn't now, but if she does, here is how I feel:
FUCK YOU.
Wait, let me say that again. FUCK YOU. I will never sleep in or stay in your house again. I won't eat a bite of food from there, and I just won't want you in my life.
Ok, I feel better. I'm going to crank on Godard's Le Mepris and call it good. I'll write about movies next week.
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Super Bowl 48 and stuff (Weekend Review #10) 2 February 2014
Wow the Seahawks have started strong! I am happy.
It's been a weekend of packing and it promises to continue.
The Seahawks continue to dominate, now up 22-0.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
It's been a weekend of packing and it promises to continue.
The Seahawks continue to dominate, now up 22-0.
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Location:River Rd,Eugene,United States
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