Let's talk of love, on this day of Valentine. In sixth grade, I fragmented myself. I was madly in love with a girl, somehow emotionally and philosophically as advanced as I've ever been, perfectly capable of lifetime commitment, or so I though and sometimes still feel.
Mary Nguyen. Apple of my eye. I remember our courtship. I'd look at her across the room all the time, and our eyes would meet and I'd automatically smile and she eventually began smiling back. It's funny, my behavior in grown up society would be considered stalking or at least really weird. Eventually I worked up enough courage to ask her out (probably via friends and such) and we dated for about three months. We kissed a few times, but we spent a lot of time talking, we went to dances, movies, etc. It was pretty amazing to my 11 year old self.
"Hold your light, 11, lead me through each gentle step, until 1 and 1 are 1, 11, so glow, child, glow, I'm heading back home."
Discovery of this song ("jimmy" by Tool) allowed me to realize just how badly I was depressed. According to Jung, if memory serves correctly, a super negative thing that happened in our past will fragment us and keep an innocent and clear-eyed part of our self trapped back at that fork in the road. It is up to us to go back and rescue that part of our self and bring it forward to where we are. If we allowed the past to harden us, without reclaiming any of it back for our Selves, we would lead a miserable existence. Let's not do that.
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